Mascara on the burp cloths
Yesterday, I was talking to a friend, and she asked me if I had been napping much. I stopped for a second. "No." I said, thinking, why is that? The baby sleeps all the time.
Ah, I explained, I've had people here non-stop almost since she was born. "Oh, so you've been entertaining" she said.
Then, it started to hit me how tired
I am. I started to get choked up.
Erick's aunt was planning on coming over in the afternoon to help me, and I had told her it would be fine. But as I was talking to my friend, I realized it wasn't. I didn't need help, I needed sleep, and that's exactly what I can't do when people are here. Also, Erick's mom was planning on coming Thursday and Friday.
I started to re-evaluate. Why was she coming? Was it going to help me? Or was I doing it for her?
What would she do?
Dishes? There aren't that many, and Erick can do them.
Laundry? My mom got us caught up on that last week, and it's not too bad.
Cleaning? The house is really clean, again, thanks to my mom organizing everything.
Holding the baby? No thanks, I enjoy doing that myself.
No, I don't really need help.
So, I called everyone and told them not to come. I unplugged the phone, and took a nap with my daughter for two hours. I felt sooo much better. This morning, after Erick left for work, we slept for another couple hours.
I've still been finding myself leaking from the eyes fairly often, but I'm feeling better. It will be nice to have a couple of days to myself.
It's really amazing how much pregnancy horomones can affect you. I feel like I'm waking up from the irritable fog I was in lo those nine months.
I am now in the process of apologizing and repairing some of the relationships that were somewhat, uh, rocky during that time.
Oh, what a bitch I was! And I felt utterly justified in it.
God, and mothers (and friends, oh and husbands), are very patient and forgiving. For that I'm thankful.
My best friend Cindy told me that I would probably feel much better after I had the baby, and I am so glad that she was right.
I don't feel like biting everyone's head off anymore, and I'm ready to apply bandages to some of the wounds I inflicted. Hopefully none of them were mortal.