Arrr, I'm late!
I missed Talk Like a Pirate Day, but still had to check this out.
My pirate name is:
Black Mary Read
Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.
Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Even though many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!